Mary Finlay 1933 – 2023
Tribute by her daughter, Jane Luxford
Mary Ann Shearmur was born on 7th September 1933, just off Castlenau in Barnes, the daughter of Margot and George. Margot was a seamstress and George, ex Royal Flying Corps, a company director. Together with Mary Ann’s brother, Godfrey, the family lived in Barnes before moving to Putney.
When war broke out, at the age of almost six, Mary Ann (as she was always called by her family) was evacuated to Reading. She stayed with a lady who ran a dancing school and, whilst loving the opportunity to dance, Mary Ann’s experience was not a happy one and my mum missed out, as many evacuees did, on the sorts of childhood experiences we take for granted today.
When she returned to London at the end of the war, Margot worked hard to send Mary Ann to The Study School in Wimbledon. Once there, she began to flourish under the careful attention of a kindly head and thoughtful teachers, who brought her up to speed with the education she had missed. As we all know, wonderful teachers really can change a life and my mum loved her school years, proudly telling us that she had been awarded the All Round Merit Cup at the end of her school career.
She opened a small dancing school – the MaryAnn School of Dancing – for little ones in the hall at St Margarets in Putney, appearing on stage at Wimbledon Theatre and the Putney Regal. This life-long love of dance and music continued throughout my mum’s life, right up to dancing in her 80s at the Thursday FiSH singing sessions. We love a good tune in our family!
Showing great strength of character, Mary Ann joined Boots the Chemist straight from school, much to the dismay of her parents who perhaps were hoping for a more professional career, but she was determined and quickly was promoted, heading up the cosmetics department and training others. She was very proud of being one of the first trained to introduce the new Number 7 range to Boots.
During her early 20s, Mary Ann met my father, Jimmy Jones. They married in 1956 and moved into the Jones family home in Fulham, living with the wider family there until, with a baby in tow, they bought their own house in East Sheen in 1964.
The Sheen years were happy family ones. My mother loved to drive and encouraged by her father and Jimmy, Mary set up her own business – the Elizabeth School of Motoring, which she ran successfully for 20 years. She was really quite a pioneer – there were not many lady instructors around in the 60s and 70s and she was particularly proud of managing to get nervous learners through the test. She was even awarded a Blue Peter badge by one of her pupils, Sarah Greene, a presenter on the programme!
In the early 1980s, my mother and father parted ways and Mary moved first to Hampton and then a few years later, to Walnut Tree Close in Barnes, where she remained for the rest of her days. Mary changed her career and became a receptionist in a doctor’s surgery, which she loved. She passed medical receptionist exams and went on to become a practice manager of a busy surgery in Chiswick, which she enjoyed right up to retirement.
Also in the 1980s, Mary met Peter Finlay and after having married in 1991, they went on to have an extremely happy marriage, with many shared interests and experiences. Mary loved being part of the wider Finlay family. Mary and Peter were devoted to one another and Mared nursing Peter with Parkinson’s until he sadly passed away in 2010.
The arrival of Phoebe Luxford, our daughter, in 2003 brought another immensely happy facet to my mum’s life. Mary was a fantastic grandma, taking on part of the caring responsibilities whilst Stephen and I were at work (the house was always in a fantastic mess of paint, paper and toys when I got home on the Wednesdays she was in charge!). Grandma was keen to get Phoebe moving, buying her first scooter, two bikes, roller skates and in the last year funding driving lessons.
St Mary’s meant the world to my mum – for her spiritually and for the deep and lasting friendships she made. My mum had an extremely strong faith throughout her life but unfortunately felt that she had missed out on the opportunity to become confirmed. That changed in 2004 when, fortuitously, Mary met Michael Roper, Curate at St Mary’s, who was officiating at my father Jimmy’s funeral. Michael encouraged my mum to become confirmed and there began the most happy time in my mum’s spiritual life as she became a firm part of the fantastic community of St Mary’s, which we will hear a little about in a short while from Ann Nickson.
It was only right at the very end that my mum was forced to slow down. She had a life-long passion for flying, and indeed generally going up in the air! My mum was determined to win the blind auction for the tower here at St Mary’s a number of years ago as the prize was a flight with Peggy the Rector in a 2-seater, followed off by a half-pint in the club house. On her many holidays with her great friend Monica, Monica was always slightly concerned when my mum would hunt down the paragliding experiences on the beach. For her 85th birthday, we treated mum to another flying experience in another small plane which she thoroughly enjoyed.
I cannot thank the people of St. Mary’s enough for the friendship and companionship they gave my mum and us as a family and especially Ann Nickson for her love and support.
I’d like to say a special thank you to Fish, the wonderful community group which gave my mum (and me) so many happy times in the last few years, from Monday morning coffees in the Hare and Hounds to the singing I have already mentioned on Thursdays, as well as practical help and outings.
Throughout the last year of her life, my mum remained active and always up for going out, but she did become increasingly frail and I want to thank my mum’s carers – Cho, Patricia, Percy, Loveness and Betty – for the attention and care they showed my mum over her last 6 months.
A special thank you to my dearest Phoebe and Stephen for the love and practical support you gave my mum.
The final thank you is to my darling mum. For all the love and kindness she gave me and all the things we did together over the years. I shall miss her wonderful smile and the prettiest blue eyes.
Rest well darling Mum.